Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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