Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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