At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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