Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
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