yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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