Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just want to make out with him forever
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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