And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
