I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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