we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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