And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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