lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
