The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
