She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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