dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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