are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
