just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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