no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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