first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
