I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
