I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
