I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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