I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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