remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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