This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm sobbing to NWA
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
