drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
