id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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