dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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