i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
