Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
