I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
