did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
