Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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