I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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