He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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