Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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