HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
