Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
