He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
