I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Damn victory sex feels great
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
