we're blogging at a bar
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
