Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize