Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
