I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
