Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
