She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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