Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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