Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
