question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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