I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
