I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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