It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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