Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
