just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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