i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
