She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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