Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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