How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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