Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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