My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
