you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
try to milk me bitch
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