i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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