I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
