My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm really into asian looking animals
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
