areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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